


A Cheesy Gift

by Dangsoo



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Cheese, M/M, Shameless Smut, mckirk - Freeform, raclette, somehow cheese is sexy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-28
Updated: 2017-07-28
Packaged: 2018-12-07 21:43:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11632506
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dangsoo/pseuds/Dangsoo
Summary: "Cheese so hot it'll make you hot!"A strange, cheese related McKirk smut.I wrote this in 40 minutes for a dare.





	A Cheesy Gift

**Author's Note:**

  * For [EverlivingGhosts](https://archiveofourown.org/users/EverlivingGhosts/gifts).



**A Cheesy Gift**

 

 

Bones stared at the huge gift wrapped object sitting at the bottom of their bed. 

“Jim, what the hell is that?” 

 

“Happy birthday Bones!” 

 

“Jim, my birthday isn't for another week.”

 

Jim smirked as he stalked around the bed towards Bones, sitting down next to him. “I know, but it came early and unfortunately something like this won’t last.” 

 

Bones was baffled now. “Jim, what in blue hell have you bought me?” He reached down the bed, pulling the large, heavy object into his lap. “It’s so big!”

 

Jim winked, and Bones’ heart sank a little. “It’s not another stupid novelty sex toy is it?” 

 

“Hey, we ended up getting a lot of use out of those fluffy handcuffs.” 

 

Bones couldn't help but smirk at the memory of Jim squeaking as his present last year, intended to piss Bones off, had fantastically backfired as he’d found himself chained, semi naked, to the stair rail. He grabbed at the wrapping paper and tore it back, expecting something along the same vein this year.  
  
What he found was the last thing he’d ever imagine. 

 

“Jim…”

 

“Yeah?”  
  
“Is this…. cheese?” 

 

“Yeah.” 

 

“A wheel of cheese?” 

 

“Yep.”

 

“…..why?” 

 

Jim smiled. “It’s cheese Bones! What’s not to like? It’s a raclette wheel. I’ve got a raclette heater for it as well. Remember we tried it at that fair one time ages ago and we both agreed it was he best thing either of us had ever tasted?” 

 

Bones was equally flattered and confused. He was also, ever so slightly, disappointed. Jim, ever the Starship Captain Diplomatic genius, saw it immediately in his face.   
  
“What’s wrong with it?” 

 

“Don’t get me wrong, Jim. You’ve trumped your last present by miles. And I kinda love how weird it is. And it’s gonna be delicious. But…”

 

“You wanted a sexy present, didn’t you?” Jim asked, a wry smirk on his face. 

 

“…Kinda did, yeah.” 

Jim’s expression darkened, a lustful look bleeding into his eyes. “And what’s not sexy about cheese?” He grabbed Bones with one hand and tucked the large wheel of cheese under his other arm, leading them into the kitchen. Bones couldn’t help but admire the underpants he’d (probably deliberately) chosen to wear that morning - stupid, too-tight boxer briefs with tiny starfleet insignias on them. God knows where he’d got them from. God knows where he’d got a whole wheel of cheese from. God knows what made him think to even _look_ for a giant wheel of cheese to gift to his boyfriend on his birthday. 

 

Jim laid the huge cheese on the side, before turning and reaching up above the counter, languishing in the stretch, allowing Bones a good view of his muscular back. _God, he’s only turning the grill on, you horny bastard,_ Bones thought.

 

Jim turned back to Bones. “Let me teach you, Dr McCoy, about the sexiness of cheese.” He hooked a thumb under the waistband of Bones’ baggy pyjama trousers and pulled him in close for a kiss, taking the advantage of reaching behind him for something that Bones couldn't see. Suddenly something cold touched his shoulder and he started, his face turning to see the pommel of a cheese knife flashing away as Jim turned and sliced a piece off of the huge wheel in front of them. 

 

Jim chuckled slightly sheepishly. “Maybe I should have bought a smaller wheel in hindsight.”

 

“Ya think?” Bones drawled, one eyebrow quirked as Jim sliced the cheese into pieces and began to lay them on a slice of bread, his round bottom prominent and tight in those goddamn underpants. _How in the hell is Jim managing to make a cheese toast sexy?_

 

Jim placed the bread and cheese on the toast maker and ramped up the grill, the metal turning red as the cheese began to bubble and melt. He stood behind Bones, his chin resting on his shoulder.   
  
“Do you see that?” Jim asked, sliding his hands down Bones’ chest and waist, below his waistband before resting on his butt cheeks. “do you see how that cheese is melting? Getting all…” He squeezed, Bones relaxing into the touch, leaning into Jim, “soft?” His hand slid around Bones’ thigh, coming to rest on something rather more sensitive. “While the bread, which was once beautiful and white, is getting all,” he rubbed Bones through his underpants, feeling him stiffen in response, “dark and hard?” 

 

“Fuck off Jim,” Bones grunted, his strong, surgeons hands finding Jim’s wrist. “We’re in the kitchen.” 

 

“Exactly. Where is cheese to be found other than the kitchen? If this grill can get that cheese hot enough to melt, then I can do the same with you, Bones.” Jim drawled, feeling Bones gasp under his touch, his hands losing their grip. “I’d say we’ve got about… 3 minutes before that cheese on toast is done.” 

 

“Oh no you don’t you-“ Bones’ voice stuttered as he felt Jim’s hands breach his boxers and touch him skin to skin. He was relentless, and Bones could feel his legs turning to Jelly under Jim’s touch. 

 

“Come on, Bones,” Jim smirked, feeling Bones trembling under his touch, leaning into Jim as he began to lose control of himself. “Melt for me?”

 

Bones groaned, the sensation of heat from the grill close to his face mixing strangely with Jim’s hot hands in his boxers. “J-Jim,” he stuttered, feeling his knees give out, a strong hand preventing him from sliding to his knees. 

 

“I think it’s done, don’t you?” Jim growled into his ear. “That hot, dripping cheese just about to spill-“ 

 

Bones came into Jim’s hand with a groan, his body tight under Jim’s touch, back arcing up, his head pressed back into Jim’s shoulder. He could feel Jim’s heavy breath on his ear as he bathed in the afterglow, still being practically held up by his partner.

 

When he was finally able to stand up by himself, he made to turn and kiss Jim, but caught the view of the toast instead. “Jim,” He started.  
  
“Hmm?” Jim hummed, enjoying the feel of Bones’ back.  
  
“The toast is really burnt.”

 

“Shit.” 

**Author's Note:**

> Yep.  
> I'm sorry.


End file.
